Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
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I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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