saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.