Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
