you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She even gives head with a lisp.
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I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
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FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes