I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
