Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  17 year olds will be the death of me.

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  (916): 17 year olds will be the death of me. http://tfl.nu/j3yc
  Replies (36) Good night (3813) Bad night (2883)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.

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  (269): I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE. http://tfl.nu/167y
  Replies (20) Good night (3363) Bad night (2803)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night

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  (404): Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night http://tfl.nu/nrlr
  Replies (12) Good night (7140) Bad night (969)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?

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  (734): Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold? http://tfl.nu/ybs2
  Replies (7) Good night (3124) Bad night (783)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.

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  (330): Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor. http://tfl.nu/41un
  Replies (5) Good night (2168) Bad night (1001)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.

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  (217): There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle. http://tfl.nu/aejf
  Replies (1) Good night (652) Bad night (1303)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"

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  (845): Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?" http://tfl.nu/78br
  Replies (12) Good night (644) Bad night (2032)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution

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  (513): i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution http://tfl.nu/2azu
  Replies (3) Good night (1184) Bad night (655)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.

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  (208): I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko. http://tfl.nu/cj6v
  Replies (2) Good night (560) Bad night (333)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  What's the mantra for Sunday?

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I will not have sex with him.

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  (502): What's the mantra for Sunday? (606): I will not have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/xixk
  Replies (2) Good night (871) Bad night (394)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool

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  (775): Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool http://tfl.nu/1zs1
  Replies (3) Good night (1155) Bad night (271)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer

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  (248): Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer http://tfl.nu/tltw
  Replies (6) Good night (439) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.

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  (425): I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding. http://tfl.nu/i9yx
  Replies (3) Good night (343) Bad night (459)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money

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  (325): Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money http://tfl.nu/w1qk
  Replies (1) Good night (451) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag

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  (309): My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag http://tfl.nu/a60b
  Replies (2) Good night (245) Bad night (460)

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