it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
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He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.