Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
