I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
