I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
