It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
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I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
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Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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