i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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