he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it because I queefed?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize