if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
