she smelled like a LAN party
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
