yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
