dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
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I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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