Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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