wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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