I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life