i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
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hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
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Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.