the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.