I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
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Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
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I will be naked everywhere
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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