At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
