That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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