On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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