it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
