I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize