Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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