Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
