Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
