Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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