you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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