If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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