i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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