I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize