im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
