not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy