I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs