I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
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You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
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Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.