i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
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Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?