i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
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We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
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I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature