I accidentally had phone sex last night
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
