If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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