C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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