I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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