I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
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My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
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I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize