Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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