so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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