my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
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i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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