i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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