Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
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she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
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I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.