Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.