I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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