I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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