I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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