too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
