Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
