Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
