I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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