sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
